A couple wants to have an austere marriage but still they have to invite new found relatives revealed while preparing the guest list, thinking _____ ?
A Parent may be more than happy to marry their child to partner of their choice in an inter-caste marriage but hesitates, thinking _____?
A middle aged man wants to learn how to dance. But hesitates, thinking ____?
A wife is regularly abused by her husband and wants to walk out of this humiliation but can't because _____?
Parents are worried about their over aged unmarried children, thinking ____ ?
Most of us, in innumerable situations have abstained from doing what our heart desires, thinking “Log kya kahege” (What will people say)? Most of us are obsessed with seeking approval of others and are always worried about what would people say (The Log Kya Kahege syndrome - The Disease to Please ). We are all encompassed by this societal pressure in most aspects. All our complications in life when analyzed, stem from this single fear.
But why shouldn't we bother about what people think/ say. After all, we are social animals and it is in our very nature to seek approval from others for our deeds. Social conformity is the force binding society and we all know the merits of society, so it'll be stupid to argue and say “Damn society. I'll do how I please." We are part of society and fear of rejection and being frowned upon by society is a very rational fear. Public opinion matters and rightly so. But then what about free will? When should personnel happiness precede over public opinion and social approval? When should one show the gut to not succumb to this pressure. When questions like these questions starts worrying me, i am reminded of a folk tale which i read long back in Panchatantra.
A Father and son were coming back from market after buying a donkey. Father preferred to walk, so he asked his son to sit on Donkey. As they were walking, they passed a group of men, one of whom said- “Look at that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides”. Son was embarrassed by these comments, so decided to switch places with his father. Now father rode donkey and son started walking alongside donkey. Soon they passed another group of bystanders. One Woman exclaimed -” Shame on that lazy man to let his poor little son trudge along in this scorching hot day.” These comments made father upset, so he asked his son to sit along with him on the donkey. As they both rode little further, they passed another group of people. Now one bystander pointed out to the father and said - “ Aren't you ashamed of yourself and your hulking son, you have no consideration for this poor mute animal. Cruel merciless scoundrels you are”. Man and son felt very humiliated and decided that only way to avoid this criticism is that they both walk alongside donkey. But as they moved little further, they heard loud laughter’s. “Look at these fools. They have a donkey but none of them is riding on it. Never seen such stupid idiots."
Whatever the father and son did, they were always criticized and made fun of.
Public opinion is very fragile as it is guided by their limited view. Whatever one do, people will always talk. In the constant desire to seek others approvals, one often forgets to listen to their inner voice. Seeking approval of one's conscience and acting in accordance with it, should be most important. I think our mantra should be - “Suno sabki karo apne mann ki” i.e. Listen to everybody but do what your conscience says is correct.
A Parent may be more than happy to marry their child to partner of their choice in an inter-caste marriage but hesitates, thinking _____?
A middle aged man wants to learn how to dance. But hesitates, thinking ____?
A wife is regularly abused by her husband and wants to walk out of this humiliation but can't because _____?
Parents are worried about their over aged unmarried children, thinking ____ ?
Most of us, in innumerable situations have abstained from doing what our heart desires, thinking “Log kya kahege” (What will people say)? Most of us are obsessed with seeking approval of others and are always worried about what would people say (The Log Kya Kahege syndrome - The Disease to Please ). We are all encompassed by this societal pressure in most aspects. All our complications in life when analyzed, stem from this single fear.
But why shouldn't we bother about what people think/ say. After all, we are social animals and it is in our very nature to seek approval from others for our deeds. Social conformity is the force binding society and we all know the merits of society, so it'll be stupid to argue and say “Damn society. I'll do how I please." We are part of society and fear of rejection and being frowned upon by society is a very rational fear. Public opinion matters and rightly so. But then what about free will? When should personnel happiness precede over public opinion and social approval? When should one show the gut to not succumb to this pressure. When questions like these questions starts worrying me, i am reminded of a folk tale which i read long back in Panchatantra.
A Father and son were coming back from market after buying a donkey. Father preferred to walk, so he asked his son to sit on Donkey. As they were walking, they passed a group of men, one of whom said- “Look at that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides”. Son was embarrassed by these comments, so decided to switch places with his father. Now father rode donkey and son started walking alongside donkey. Soon they passed another group of bystanders. One Woman exclaimed -” Shame on that lazy man to let his poor little son trudge along in this scorching hot day.” These comments made father upset, so he asked his son to sit along with him on the donkey. As they both rode little further, they passed another group of people. Now one bystander pointed out to the father and said - “ Aren't you ashamed of yourself and your hulking son, you have no consideration for this poor mute animal. Cruel merciless scoundrels you are”. Man and son felt very humiliated and decided that only way to avoid this criticism is that they both walk alongside donkey. But as they moved little further, they heard loud laughter’s. “Look at these fools. They have a donkey but none of them is riding on it. Never seen such stupid idiots."
Whatever the father and son did, they were always criticized and made fun of.
Public opinion is very fragile as it is guided by their limited view. Whatever one do, people will always talk. In the constant desire to seek others approvals, one often forgets to listen to their inner voice. Seeking approval of one's conscience and acting in accordance with it, should be most important. I think our mantra should be - “Suno sabki karo apne mann ki” i.e. Listen to everybody but do what your conscience says is correct.
3 comments:
good.......correct..The more of it you can let go ,the more you will be un-attached and the more happier...
Liked the examples very much :)
Found this:
http://qph.cf.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-bb2395c610a3a77d115196a82c222ed4
Amazing article. Well done Ankit.
Its a universal truth, the earlier you understand the better life u spend.
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