What is love? We've been obsessed with this question for centuries, but despite that it still overwhelms us. The mere utterance of this four letter word conjures very strong emotions in us. Poets, writers,thinkers, philosophers,scientists,all have in there own ways, tried to decipher this great mystery.We have songs, poems, movies, novels, paintings, myths, legends on it.There are as many notions of love, as there are people alive to have them.
All our lives we search for someone to love. Someone who completes us. Someone whose sheer presence sparks happiness in us. Someone with whom, we can share our lives. We all have deep desires to find love. It projects our deepest longings and profound desires. Love is ubiquitous but still we find it hard to define. Everyone have some fuzzy notion about it.
Is love a feeling? A feelings of euphoria, high energy, sleeplessness and a constant craving for ones beloved. A feeling one has experienced, never before. But feelings are dynamic,they keep on changing.At certain time one feels deep affection for some person and at the other one might feels indifference for the same person. So clearly there is more to love, than this feeling of euphoria.
So is love a physiological craving then?An addiction to ones presence.An addiction which lights certain chemical centres in our brain like a narcotic addiction. Don't get me wrong, but evidence shows that the part of brain which lights up under cocaine intoxication and romantic love is same. But then why do this addiction wears out over time?
Well life is a product of evolution and so is love. It is natures way of perpetuating our species. To achieve that it has developed these reward systems in our brains. Once its job is done, it slowly wears out. According to scientific studies this period lasts between 6 months to 2 years. After that disillusionment sets in, emotions relax and imperfections and flaws appears. This sounds very pessimistic,right? Should we then succumb to natures trap and digest the fact that love comes with a shelf-life, if ones lucky 2 years. Make most of it. Enjoy the euphoria and then for rest of live in a loveless relationship.So are we just "biochemical puppets"?
Aristotle and other philosophers have recognized long ago, that our capacity for reason makes us so interesting. If we miss this, we miss almost everything that matters. Yes, it is true that intelligence gets hijacked by chemistry and hormones.But one can reign these natural urges through deliberation, thought and reason.To me love comes across as a conscious decision. It is a commitment one makes to stay together through thick and thin. Chemistry can bring us close, but before it runs out one must figure out conscious ways through reasoning which looks beyond chemistry. If you want to be with somebody then you have to give some part of yourself to accommodate them. You need to accept their imperfections, understand the differences and create space to accommodate them. We are loosing the profoundness of being together with each other in the name of freedom of choice. It is becoming all about ourselves. One must realize that love is giving at expense of self. Its about making each other better person.
In a relationship, if both people think about other,then it becomes a beautiful place to be in. If one thinks this way, its exploitation. If both don't think this way then it becomes compulsion. So what is the kind of relationship, you aspire to be in?
Mature love is a choice, make one, it'll make your life beautiful :)
All our lives we search for someone to love. Someone who completes us. Someone whose sheer presence sparks happiness in us. Someone with whom, we can share our lives. We all have deep desires to find love. It projects our deepest longings and profound desires. Love is ubiquitous but still we find it hard to define. Everyone have some fuzzy notion about it.
Is love a feeling? A feelings of euphoria, high energy, sleeplessness and a constant craving for ones beloved. A feeling one has experienced, never before. But feelings are dynamic,they keep on changing.At certain time one feels deep affection for some person and at the other one might feels indifference for the same person. So clearly there is more to love, than this feeling of euphoria.
So is love a physiological craving then?An addiction to ones presence.An addiction which lights certain chemical centres in our brain like a narcotic addiction. Don't get me wrong, but evidence shows that the part of brain which lights up under cocaine intoxication and romantic love is same. But then why do this addiction wears out over time?
Well life is a product of evolution and so is love. It is natures way of perpetuating our species. To achieve that it has developed these reward systems in our brains. Once its job is done, it slowly wears out. According to scientific studies this period lasts between 6 months to 2 years. After that disillusionment sets in, emotions relax and imperfections and flaws appears. This sounds very pessimistic,right? Should we then succumb to natures trap and digest the fact that love comes with a shelf-life, if ones lucky 2 years. Make most of it. Enjoy the euphoria and then for rest of live in a loveless relationship.So are we just "biochemical puppets"?
Aristotle and other philosophers have recognized long ago, that our capacity for reason makes us so interesting. If we miss this, we miss almost everything that matters. Yes, it is true that intelligence gets hijacked by chemistry and hormones.But one can reign these natural urges through deliberation, thought and reason.To me love comes across as a conscious decision. It is a commitment one makes to stay together through thick and thin. Chemistry can bring us close, but before it runs out one must figure out conscious ways through reasoning which looks beyond chemistry. If you want to be with somebody then you have to give some part of yourself to accommodate them. You need to accept their imperfections, understand the differences and create space to accommodate them. We are loosing the profoundness of being together with each other in the name of freedom of choice. It is becoming all about ourselves. One must realize that love is giving at expense of self. Its about making each other better person.
In a relationship, if both people think about other,then it becomes a beautiful place to be in. If one thinks this way, its exploitation. If both don't think this way then it becomes compulsion. So what is the kind of relationship, you aspire to be in?
Mature love is a choice, make one, it'll make your life beautiful :)
1 comment:
Fabulous post on love. You seem to compete most of the love gurus, pandits and philosophers.
Greatly described in words.
Well done Ankit !!!!!
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